Musings on Motherhood, Art, Life

Oftentimes life feels like a blur. It's been over a year since I last made an entry on this site. We have made a million precious memories and watched our boy learn & change & grow & explore. My heart aches knowing he will never be that tiny newborn baby again, but it also is beautifully stretching and expanding as we watch him get older. It's bittersweet. What a privilege it is to be his mama. Life can be painful, like truly painful. Growth isn't linear. Being married can be hard, parenting can be hard, working full-time with a family is hard. But I consider it an honor. I'm honored to be a wife, a mama, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a nurse. All I can say is, some days the Lord is the only thing helping me get through the difficult times. Other days are lighter. I pray every single day to be a better wife & mom. Do you ever feel like change is coming? Like you can sense it in the air, in your blood, in each breath you take? Like change must come. I don't fully know how to explain it, but lately I've felt overwhelmed by a calling for more. For something else. I don't know exactly what that is yet, but I pray that it is revealed to me. I think sometimes we get caught up in the day-to-day repetition, our schedules. We are simply exhausted, often mentally and physically. It's difficult to hold space for anything other than ourselves. It's already almost the month of April. I feel the dawn of a new season beginning. I am believing for clarity, for renewal, for creation. Why don't we vow to consume less and create more. I recently listened to a young man in a video speaking about how we don't feel satisfied or we don't achieve notable progress with our goals because we continue to consume rather than create. That statement struck a chord within me. And while I do find pleasure in learning and seeking inspiration, it's true - I feel so much more alive when I simply create something. My desire is to continue writing on this website because I genuinely love writing and it's something I used to do often. Journaling, memory-keeping, it's really just a way to get your thoughts out of your head and onto paper. One other thing I would like to pursue is calligraphy. I finally found the fountain pen and ink I had bought...I forget, maybe two years ago? I will try to update on that endeavor soon. Much love to you mamas out there...xx Stephanie

BY RUPI KAUR